Ayodhya Kanda · Sarga 53 of 119 · 35 verses
Rama’s Doubt in the Night
Reaching the tree and performing the evening rites, Rama says to Lakshmana: “This is the first night we have passed outside our country, without Sumantra; do not be anxious. From now on we two must stay awake by turns at night, tirelessly; Sita’s safety depends on us. We will get through this night somehow, lying on the ground on what we have gathered.” Lying on the earth, though used to costly beds, Rama says: “Surely the great king sleeps badly tonight, Lakshmana, while Kaikeyi, her wish fulfilled, should be content. Seeing Bharata come, might she not even take the king’s life for the sake of the kingdom? Old, without a protector, separated from me, ruled by desire and in Kaikeyi’s power, what will he do? Seeing this calamity and the king’s confusion, I think desire is stronger than wealth and dharma. What man, however ignorant, would abandon an obedient son for a woman, as father has abandoned me? Happy indeed is Bharata, Kaikeyi’s son, with his wife, who alone will enjoy the glad Kosalas like an emperor. With father old and me in the forest, he will be the sole head of the whole kingdom. Whoever abandons wealth and dharma and follows desire soon comes to this, like King Dasharatha. I think Kaikeyi came into our house for Dasharatha’s end, my exile and Bharata’s rule. Might she, drunk with her good fortune, harass Kausalya and Sumitra on my account? So that Sumitra does not suffer because of me, go back to Ayodhya from here, Lakshmana, at the right time. I will go alone with Sita to Dandaka; you will be the protector of Kausalya, who has none. Kaikeyi, whose deeds are mean, might act unjustly out of hatred; entrust my mother to Bharata, who knows dharma.
“Surely in some former birth my mother separated women from their sons, and that is why this has come. I, raised so long and with such trouble, have been parted from Kausalya just when the fruit was due; shame on me! May no woman ever bear a son like me, who gives his mother endless grief. I think the myna bird she keeps is more loving than I am, for she hears it say to the parrot, ‘Bite the foot of the enemy!’ What use to her, grieving, unlucky, and as good as sonless, is a son who does her no service? My unlucky mother lies without me in deep sorrow, fallen into an ocean of grief. Alone, in anger, I could overrun Ayodhya and the whole earth with my arrows; but valour is not the reason here. Afraid of adharma and of the next world, sinless one, I do not consecrate myself today.” Having lamented much and pitifully in the lonely place, Rama sits silent at night, his face full of tears. Lakshmana comforts him, like a fire whose flames have gone, like the ocean stilled: “Surely Ayodhya, with you gone, is lightless like a night without the moon. It is not right for you to grieve like this; you dishearten Sita and me. Without you, neither Sita nor I could live a moment, like fish taken out of water. I would not want to see father, Shatrughna, Sumitra, or heaven itself without you.” Then the two, who love dharma, seeing a well-made bed not far off under a banyan, go to it. Raghava, having heard Lakshmana’s excellent words, accepts forest life with respect and takes up the highest austerity for all those years; and in that lonely forest the two mighty brothers feel neither fear nor agitation, like two lions roaming a mountain slope.
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स तं वृक्षं समासाद्य संध्यामन्वास्य पश्चिमाम् । रामो रमयतां श्रेष्ठ इति होवाच लक्ष्मणम् ॥ १ ॥
Reaching that tree and performing the western twilight rites, Rama, best of those who delight others, said to Lakshmana:
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अद्येयं प्रथमा रात्रिर्याता जनपदाद्बहिः । या सुमन्त्रेण रहिता तां नोत्कण्ठितुमर्हसि ॥ २ ॥
“This is the first night that has passed outside our country without Sumantra; you should not be anxious about it.
जागर्तव्यमतन्द्रिभ्यामद्यप्रभृति रात्रिषु । योगक्षेमो हि सीताया वर्तते लक्ष्मणावयोः ॥ ३ ॥
“From today we two must keep watch tirelessly at night; for Sita’s safety and welfare depend on us two, Lakshmana.
रात्रिं कथंचिदेवेमां सौमित्रे वर्तयामहे । उपावर्तामहे भूमावास्तीर्य स्वयमार्जितैः ॥ ४ ॥
“We will pass this night somehow, Saumitri; let us lie down on the ground, having spread what we ourselves have gathered.”
स तु संविश्य मेदिन्यां महार्हशयनोचितः । इमाः सौमित्रये रामो व्याजहार कथाः शुभाः ॥ ५ ॥
Lying on the earth, he who was used to costly beds, Rama told Saumitri these fine things:
ध्रुवमद्य महाराजो दुःखं स्वपिति लक्ष्मण । कृतकामा तु कैकेयी तुष्टा भवितुमर्हति ॥ ६ ॥
“Surely the great king sleeps unhappily today, Lakshmana; but Kaikeyi, her wish fulfilled, should be content.
सा हि देवी महाराजं कैकेयी राज्यकारणात् । अपि न च्यावयेत् प्राणान् दृष्ट्वा भरतमागतम् ॥ ७ ॥
“Might not Queen Kaikeyi, for the kingdom’s sake, even take the great king’s life when she sees Bharata come?
अनाथश्च हि वृद्धश्च मया चैव विनाकृतः । किं करिष्यति कामात्मा कैकेय्या वशमागतः ॥ ८ ॥
“Without protection and old, and separated from me, what will he do, ruled by desire, fallen into Kaikeyi’s power?
इदं व्यसनमालोक्य राज्ञश्च मतिविभ्रमम् । काम एवार्थधर्माभ्यां गरीयानिति मे मतिः ॥ ९ ॥
“Seeing this calamity and the king’s confusion of mind, I think desire is weightier than wealth and dharma.
को ह्यविद्वानपि पुमान् प्रमदायाः कृते त्यजेत् । छन्दानुवर्तिनं पुत्रं तातो मामिव लक्ष्मण ॥ १० ॥
“For what man, even an ignorant one, would abandon for a woman’s sake an obedient son, as father has me, Lakshmana?
सुखी बत सभार्यश्च भरतः केकयीसुतः । मुदितान्कोसलानेको यो भोक्ष्यत्यधिराजवत् ॥ ११ ॥
“Happy indeed is Bharata, Kaikeyi’s son, with his wife, who alone will enjoy the glad Kosalas like an emperor.
स हि सर्वस्य राज्यस्य मुखमेकं भविष्यति । ताते च वयसातीते मयि चारण्यमाश्रिते ॥ १२ ॥
“He alone will be the head of the whole kingdom, with father past his years and me gone to the forest.
अर्थधर्मौ परित्यज्य यः काममनुवर्तते । एवमापद्यते क्षिप्रं राजा दशरथो यथा ॥ १३ ॥
“Whoever abandons wealth and dharma and follows desire soon falls into this state, as King Dasharatha has.
मन्ये दशरथान्ताय मम प्रव्राजनाय च । कैकेयी सौम्य सम्प्राप्ता राज्याय भरतस्य च ॥ १४ ॥
“I think, gentle one, Kaikeyi came for Dasharatha’s end, for my exile and for Bharata’s kingdom.
अपीदानीं न कैकेयी सौभाग्यमदमोहिता । कौसल्यां च सुमित्रां च सम्प्रबाधेत मत्कृते ॥ १५ ॥
“Might Kaikeyi now, drunk with the pride of her good fortune, oppress Kausalya and Sumitra on my account?
मा स्म मत्कारणाद्देवी सुमित्रा दुःखमावसेत् । अयोध्यामित एव त्वं काल्ये प्रविश लक्ष्मण ॥ १६ ॥
“Let not Queen Sumitra live in sorrow because of me. Go back to Ayodhya from right here, Lakshmana, at daybreak.
अहमेको गमिष्यामि सीतया सह दण्डकान् । अनाथाया हि नाथस्त्वं कौसल्याया भविष्यसि ॥ १७ ॥
“I will go alone with Sita to Dandaka; you will be the protector of Kausalya, who has none.
क्षुद्रकर्मा हि कैकेयी द्वेषादन्याय्यमाचरेत् । परिदद्याहि धर्मज्ञे भरते मम मातरम् ॥ १८ ॥
“For Kaikeyi, whose deeds are mean, might do wrong out of hatred; entrust my mother to Bharata, who knows dharma.
नूनं जात्यन्तरे कस्मिन्स्त्रियः पुत्रैर्वियोजिताः । जनन्या मम सौमित्रे तदप्येतदुपस्थितम् ॥ १९ ॥
“Surely in some other birth women were separated from their sons by my mother, Saumitri; that is why this too has come.
मया हि चिरपुष्टेन दुःखसंवर्धितेन च । विप्रायुज्यत कौसल्या फलकाले धिगस्तु माम् ॥ २० ॥
“Raised so long by me and brought up with such trouble, Kausalya has been parted from me at the time of fruit. Shame on me!
मा स्म सीमन्तिनी काचिज्जनयेत् पुत्रमीदृशम् । सौमित्रे योऽहमम्बाया दद्मि शोकमनन्तकम् ॥ २१ ॥
“May no married woman ever bear a son like me, Saumitri, who give my mother endless grief.
मन्ये प्रीतिविशिष्टा सा मत्तो लक्ष्मण सारिका । यस्यास्तच्छ्रूयते वाक्यं शुक पादमरेर्दश ॥ २२ ॥
“I think that myna of hers is more loving than I, Lakshmana, from whom she hears the words, ‘Parrot, bite the enemy’s foot!’
शोचन्त्याश्चाल्पभाग्याया न किंचिदुपकुर्वता । पुर्त्रेण किमपुत्राया मया कार्यमरिंदम ॥ २३ ॥
“What use to her, grieving, unlucky and as good as sonless, is a son like me, who does nothing to help her, subduer of enemies?
अल्पभाग्या हि मे माता कौसल्या रहिता मया । शेते परमदुःखार्ता पतिता शोकसागरे ॥ २४ ॥
“My unlucky mother Kausalya, without me, lies in the deepest sorrow, fallen into an ocean of grief.
एको ह्यहमयोध्यां च पृथिवीं चापि लक्ष्मण । तरेयमिषुभिः क्रुद्धो ननु वीर्यमकारणम् ॥ २५ ॥
“Alone, in anger, Lakshmana, I could overrun Ayodhya and the whole earth with my arrows; but valour is not the reason.
अधर्मभयभीतश्च परलोकस्य चानघ । तेन लक्ष्मण नाद्याहमात्मानमभिषेचये ॥ २६ ॥
“Afraid of the fear of adharma and of the other world, sinless one, I do not therefore consecrate myself today, Lakshmana.”
एतदन्यच्च करुणं विलप्य विजने बहु । अश्रुपूर्णमुखो रामो निशि तूष्णीमुपाविशत् ॥ २७ ॥
Having lamented this and much else pitifully in the lonely place, Rama, his face full of tears, sat silent in the night.
विलप्योपरतं रामं गतार्चिषमिवानलम् । समुद्रमिव निर्वेंगमाश्वासयत लक्ष्मणः ॥ २८ ॥
When Rama had stopped lamenting, like a fire whose flames have gone, like the ocean stilled, Lakshmana comforted him:
ध्रुवमद्य पुरी रामायोध्या युधिनां वर । निष्प्रभा त्वयि निष्क्रान्ते गतचन्द्रेव शर्वरी ॥ २९ ॥
“Surely today, Rama, best of fighters, the city of Ayodhya, with you gone out, is lightless, like a night whose moon is gone.
नैतदौपयिकं राम यदिदं परितप्यसे । विषादयसि सीतां च मां चैव पुरुषर्षभ ॥ ३० ॥
“It is not fitting, Rama, that you torment yourself like this; you dishearten Sita and me, bull among men.
न च सीता त्वया हीना न चाहमपि राघव । मुहूर्तमपि जीवावो जलान्मत्स्याविवोद्धृतौ ॥ ३१ ॥
“Neither Sita nor I, Raghava, could live even a moment without you, like two fish lifted out of water.
न हि तातं न शत्रुघ्नं न सुमित्रां परंतप । द्रष्टुमिच्छेयमद्याहं स्वर्गं वापि त्वया विना ॥ ३२ ॥
“I would not wish to see father, nor Shatrughna, nor Sumitra, scorcher of enemies, nor even heaven, without you today.”
ततस्तत्र सुखासीनौ नातिदूरे निरीक्ष्य ताम् । न्यग्रोधे सुकृतां शय्यां भेजाते धर्मवत्सलौ ॥ ३३ ॥
Then, sitting there comfortably and seeing not far off a well-made bed under a banyan, the two who loved dharma went to it.
स लक्ष्मणस्योत्तमपुष्कलं वचो निशम्य चैवं वनवासमादरात् । समाः समस्ता विदधे परंतपः प्रपद्य धर्मं सुचिराय राघवः ॥ ३४ ॥
Having heard Lakshmana’s excellent, abundant words, and accepting forest life with respect, Raghava took up the highest austerity for all those years, embracing dharma for a long time.
ततस्तु तस्मिन्विजने वने तदा महाबलौ राघववंशवर्धनौ । न तौ भयं सम्भ्रममभ्युपेयतु र्यथैव सिंहौ गिरिसानुगोचरौ ॥ ३५ ॥
Then in that lonely forest the two mighty increasers of the Raghu line felt neither fear nor agitation, like two lions roaming a mountain slope.