Ayodhya Kanda · Sarga 59 of 119 · 34 verses
The Ocean of Grief
Sumantra goes on: “When I turned back, my horses would not move on the road; they shed hot tears as Rama set out for the forest. Joining my palms to the two princes, I mounted the chariot and set out, bearing that grief. I stayed many days there with Guha, hoping Rama might call me back. In your realm, great king, even the trees have withered with their flowers, shoots and buds, wasted by this calamity; rivers, ponds and lakes are heated; the forests and groves have dry leaves; creatures do not move, beasts of prey do not roam; overwhelmed by grief for Rama, the forest has fallen silent. The lotus pools have muddy water, their lotuses scorched, their fish and birds hidden; flowers of water and land, garlands and fruit, have little fragrance and do not shine as before. The gardens here are empty, the birds gone; I see no pleasant groves. As I entered Ayodhya no one greeted me; not seeing Rama, men sighed again and again. Seeing the royal chariot come back without Rama, everyone on the royal road wept. From mansions and palaces the women cried out, wasted with not seeing Rama, looking at one another with tear-flooded eyes. In my distress I see no difference among friends, enemies or strangers. Without joy, its people unglad, its elephants and horses downcast, wasted with cries of grief, loud with sighs, Ayodhya seems to me, great king, like Kausalya without her son.”
Hearing this, the king says in a voice choked with tears: “Directed by Kaikeyi, whose nature springs from a wicked family, I did not consult elders skilled in counsel, nor friends, ministers or merchants; in delusion, for a woman’s sake, I did this thing in haste. Surely by fate this great calamity has come by chance to destroy this family. If I have ever done you any good, charioteer, take me quickly to Rama; my life-breaths are hurrying me. Or let my command bring Raghava back; I cannot live a moment without him. Or if the mighty-armed one has gone far, put me in the chariot and show me to Rama quickly. Where is Lakshmana’s elder brother, with rounded teeth, the great archer? If I live, let me see him with Sita. If I do not see red-eyed, mighty-armed Rama with his jewelled earrings, I will go to Yama’s abode. What could be more painful than that I, in this state, do not see Raghava here? Ha Rama! Ha Rama’s brother! Ha, devoted Vaidehi! You do not know that I am dying of grief like one without a protector.” Overwhelmed, the king says: “Kausalya, I am sunk in a sea of grief so hard to cross: grief for Rama is its vast expanse, separation from Sita its far shore; my sighs are its waves and great whirlpools, my tears its foam and muddy water; the tossing of my arms its shoals of fish, my wailing its roar, my scattered hair its moss, Kaikeyi its submarine fire; the torrent of my tears its source, the hunchback’s words its great crocodiles, the cruel woman’s boons its shore, Rama’s exile its breadth. In it I am drowned, without Raghava; this ocean of grief cannot be crossed by me while I live.” Saying this, the glorious king faints on his bed. Hearing him lament for Rama twice as pitifully, Rama’s mother is seized by fear again.
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मम त्वश्वा निवृत्तस्य न प्रावर्तन्त वर्त्मनि । उष्णमश्रु विमुञ्चन्तो रामे सम्प्रस्थिते वनम् ॥ १ ॥
“As I turned back, my horses would not move on the road, shedding hot tears, when Rama had set out for the forest.
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उभाभ्यां राजपुत्राभ्यामथ कृत्वाहम्ज्ञलिम् । प्रस्थितो रथमास्थाय तद्दुःखमपि धारयन् ॥ २ ॥
“Having joined my palms to the two princes, I mounted the chariot and set out, bearing that sorrow too.
गुहेन सार्धं तत्रैव स्थितोऽस्मि दिवसान्बहून् । आशया यदि मां रामः पुनः शब्दापयेदिति ॥ ३ ॥
“I stayed right there with Guha for many days, in the hope that Rama might call me back again.
विषये ते महाराज रामव्यसनकर्शिताः । अपि वृक्षाः परिम्लानाः सपुष्पाङ्कुरकोरकाः ॥ ४ ॥
“In your realm, great king, even the trees, wasted by my calamity, have withered, with their flowers, shoots and buds.
उपतप्तोदका नद्यः पल्वलानि सरांसि च । परिशुष्कपलाशानि वनान्युपवनानि च ॥ ५ ॥
“The rivers, pools and lakes have hot water; the forests and groves have dried leaves.
न च सर्पन्ति सत्त्वानि व्याला न प्रचरन्ति च । रामशोकाभिभूतं तन्निष्कूजमभवद्वनम् ॥ ६ ॥
“The creatures do not move, the beasts of prey do not roam; overwhelmed by grief for Rama, the forest has become silent.
लीनपुष्करपत्राश्च नरेन्द्र कलुषोदकाः । संतप्तपद्माः पद्मिन्यो लीनमीनविहंगमाः ॥ ७ ॥
“The lotus pools, lord of men, have their lotus leaves drooping and their water muddy, their lotuses scorched, their fish and birds hidden.
जलजानि च पुष्पाणि माल्यानि स्थलजानि च । नाद्य भान्त्यल्पगन्धीनि फलानि च यथापुरम् ॥ ८ ॥
“The flowers born in water and the garlands born on land do not shine today, having little scent, nor the fruits as before.
अत्रोद्यानानि शून्यानि प्रलीनविहगानि च । न चाभिरामानारामान् पश्यामि मनुजर्षभ ॥ ९ ॥
“The gardens here are empty and their birds gone, and I do not see lovely pleasure groves, bull among men.
प्रविशन्तमयोध्यां मां न कश्चिदभिनन्दति । नरा राममपश्यन्तो निःश्वसन्ति मुहुर्मुहुः ॥ १० ॥
“As I entered Ayodhya no one greeted me; men, not seeing Rama, sighed again and again.
देव राजरथं दृष्ट्वा विना राममिहागतम् । दुःखादश्रुमुखः सर्वो राजमार्गगतो जनः ॥ ११ ॥
“Lord, seeing the royal chariot come here without Rama, all the people on the royal road wept in sorrow, their faces in tears.
हर्म्यैर्विमानैः प्रासादैरवेक्ष्य रथमागतम् । हाहाकारकृता नार्यो रामादर्शनकर्शिताः ॥ १२ ॥
“From mansions, upper storeys and palaces, seeing the chariot return, the women cried out ‘Alas!’, wasted with not seeing Rama.
आयतैर्विमलैर्नेत्रैरश्रुवेगपरिप्लुतैः । अन्योन्यमभिवीक्षन्ते व्यक्तमार्ततराः स्त्रियः ॥ १३ ॥
“With long, clear eyes flooded with streams of tears, the women, clearly more distressed, looked at one another.
नामित्राणां न मित्राणामुदासीनजनस्य च । अहमार्ततया कंचिद्विशेषं नोपलक्षये ॥ १४ ॥
“In my distress I perceive no difference among enemies, friends, or people who are indifferent.
अप्रहृष्टमनुष्या च दीननागतुरंगमा । आर्तस्वरपरिम्लाना विनिःश्वसितनिःस्वना ॥ १५ ॥
निरानन्दा महाराज रामप्रव्राजनातुरा । कौसल्या पुत्रहीनेव अयोध्या प्रतिभाति मा ॥ १६ ॥
“Its people joyless, its elephants and horses wretched, wasted with cries of pain, loud with sighs, without joy, great king, afflicted by Rama’s exile, Ayodhya seems to me like Kausalya bereft of her son.”
सूतस्य वचनं श्रुत्वा वाचा परमदीनया । बाष्पोपहतया राजा तं सूतमिदमब्रवीत् ॥ १७ ॥
Hearing the charioteer’s words, the king, in a most wretched voice choked with tears, said to that charioteer:
कैकेय्या विनियुक्तेन पापाभिजनभावया । मया न मन्त्रकुशलैर्वृद्धैः सह समर्थितम् ॥ १८ ॥
“Directed by Kaikeyi, whose nature comes of a wicked family, I did not consult with old men skilled in counsel,
न सुहृद्भिर्न चामात्यैर्मन्त्रयित्वा न नैगमैः । मयायमर्थः सम्मोहात्स्त्रीहेतोः सहसा कृतः ॥ १९ ॥
“nor with friends, nor ministers, nor merchants; in delusion I did this thing in haste, for a woman’s sake.
भवितव्यतया नूनमिदं वा व्यसनं महत् । कुलस्यास्य विनाशाय प्राप्तं सूत यदृच्छया ॥ २० ॥
“Surely by what was bound to be, charioteer, this great calamity has come by chance, for the destruction of this family.
सूत यद्यस्ति ते किंचिन्मयापि सुकृतं कृतम् । त्वं प्रापयाशु मां रामं प्राणाः संत्वरयन्ति मां ॥ २१ ॥
“Charioteer, if I have ever done you any good at all, take me quickly to Rama; my life-breaths are hurrying me.
यद्यद्यापि ममैवाज्ञा निवर्तयतु राघवम् । न शक्ष्यामि विना राम मुहूर्तमपि जीवितुम् ॥ २२ ॥
“Or let my command alone bring Raghava back. I cannot live a moment without Rama.
अथवापि महाबाहुर्गतो दूरं भविष्यति । मामेव रथमारोप्य शीघ्रं रामाय दर्शय ॥ २३ ॥
“Or else, if the mighty-armed one has gone far, put me in the chariot and quickly show me to Rama.
वृत्तदंष्ट्रो महेष्वासः क्वासौ लक्ष्मणपूर्वजः । यदि जीवामि साध्वेनं पश्येयं सीतया सह ॥ २४ ॥
“Where is Lakshmana’s elder brother, with rounded teeth, the great archer? If I live, let me see him well, with Sita.
लोहिताक्षं महाबाहुमामुक्तमणिकुण्डलम् । रामं यदि न पश्येयं गमिष्यामि यमक्षयम् ॥ २५ ॥
“If I do not see red-eyed, mighty-armed Rama, wearing his jewelled earrings, I shall go to the abode of Yama.
अतो नु किं दुःखतरं योऽहमिक्ष्वाकुनन्दनम् । इमामवस्थामापन्नो नेह पश्यामि राघवम् ॥ २६ ॥
“What could be more painful than this, that I, fallen into this state, do not see Raghava, delight of the Ikshvakus, here?
हा राम रामानुज हा हा वैदेहि तपस्विनी । न मां जानीत दुःखेन म्रियमाणमनाथवत् ॥ २७ ॥
“Ha Rama! Ha Rama’s younger brother! Ha, devoted Vaidehi! You do not know that I am dying of grief like one without a protector.”
स तेन राजा दुःखेन भृशमर्पितचेतनः । अवगाढः सुदुष्पारं शोकसागरमब्रवीत् ॥ २८ ॥
Overwhelmed by that grief, his mind given over to it, the king, plunged into the sea of grief so hard to cross, said:
रामशोकमहाभोगः सीताविरहपारगः । श्वसितोर्मिमहावर्तो बाष्पफेनजलाविलः ॥ २९ ॥
बाहुविक्षेपमीनौघो विक्रन्दितमहास्वनः । प्रकीर्णकेशशैवालः कैकेयीबडबामुखः ॥ ३० ॥
ममाश्रुवेगप्रभवः कुब्जावाक्यमहाग्रहः । वरवेलो नृशंसाया रामप्रव्राजनायतः ॥ ३१ ॥
“Its vast expanse grief for Rama, its far shore separation from Sita, its waves and great whirlpools my sighs, its water muddied with the foam of tears, its shoals of fish the tossing of my arms, its great roar my wailing, its moss my scattered hair, its submarine fire Kaikeyi, its source the rush of my tears, its great crocodiles the hunchback’s words, its shore the boons of the cruel woman, its breadth Rama’s exile:
यस्मिन्बत निमग्नोऽहं कौसल्ये राघवं विना । दुस्तरो जीवता देवि मयायं शोकसागरः ॥ ३२ ॥
“in this, alas, Kausalya, I am drowned without Raghava. This ocean of grief cannot be crossed by me while I live, queen.
अशोभनं योऽहमिहाद्य राघवं दिदृक्षमाणो न लभे सलक्ष्मणम् । इतीव राजा विलपन्महायशाः पपात तूर्णं शयने स मूर्च्छितः ॥ ३३ ॥
“It is wretched that I, wishing to see Raghava with Lakshmana today, cannot.” So lamenting, the greatly renowned king fell quickly fainting on his bed.
इति विलपति पार्थिवे प्रनष्टे करुणतरं द्विगुणं च रामहेतोः । वचनमनुनिशम्य तस्य देवी भयमगमत्पुनरेव राममाता ॥ ३४ ॥
As the king lamented so, lost, twice as pitifully for Rama’s sake, the queen, Rama’s mother, hearing his words, was seized by fear once more.