Ayodhya Kanda · Sarga 63 of 119 · 56 verses
The Sin by the Sarayu
Waking again, his mind struck by grief, King Dasharatha falls to brooding. Calamity has entered him with the exile of Rama and Lakshmana, as the demon’s darkness enters the sun. On the sixth night after Rama went to the forest, at midnight, remembering the wrong he once did, the king, tormented by grief for his son, says to Kausalya: “Whatever a person does, good or bad, lovely one, the doer reaps the fruit of his own deed. He who, when beginning an act, does not know the weight or lightness of its results, its fruit or its fault, is called a child. One who cuts down a mango grove and waters palasha trees, greedy for fruit at the sight of their flowers, grieves when the fruit comes. I am that fool: I cut down the mango grove and watered the palashas; I gave up Rama and grieve when the fruit is due. When I was a prince, Kausalya, known as an archer who could shoot by sound, I did this evil. That pain I made for myself has now come to me, like poison eaten by a child in ignorance.
“You were not yet married to me, queen, and I was crown prince. The rainy season came, which increases desire. The sun, having drunk the earth’s juices and scorched the world with its rays, had gone to the dreadful southern quarter. The heat vanished at once; thick clouds appeared; frogs, deer and peacocks rejoiced. Birds, their wings wet as if bathed, made for trees whose tops were tossed by rain and wind. The mountain, covered with fallen and falling water, full of excited deer, shone like an ocean. Streams, clear and also pale and red with mountain minerals, slid like snakes. In that very pleasant season, with bow and arrows, in my chariot, I went along the river Sarayu to exercise, eager, my senses unmastered, to kill a buffalo at the watering place at night, or an elephant coming to the river, or some other beast of prey. In the dark I heard at the water the sound of a jar being filled, unseen, like an elephant trumpeting. I drew out a gleaming arrow like a venomous snake and, wanting the elephant, aimed at the sound and loosed it. From there, at dawn, a human voice rose from a forest-dweller falling into the water, struck in a vital spot: ‘Ha! Ha! How could a weapon fall on an ascetic like me? I came to the lonely river at night to fetch water. Who has struck me with an arrow, and what have I done to anyone? Who could want to kill a sage who has laid down the rod, living in the forest on forest food, wearing matted hair, bark and deerskin? What harm have I done him? No good man would approve such a useless act, full of harm, any more than one who violates his teacher’s bed. I do not grieve so much for the end of my own life as for my mother and father. What will this aged couple, whom I have supported so long, do when I am dead? My aged mother and father and I, all three, are killed by one arrow. By what fool, with no self-control, have we all been killed?’
“Hearing that piteous voice, I, who wanted dharma, was shaken, and the bow and arrow fell from my hands to the ground. Hearing him lament so much in the night, I was bewildered with grief and nearly lost my senses. Going to that spot, wretched and sick at heart, I saw on the bank of the Sarayu an ascetic struck by my arrow, his matted hair loose, his water jar flung aside, his body smeared with dust and blood, lying pierced. He looked up at me, frightened and confused, and spoke harshly, as if to burn me with his power: ‘What harm did I do you, king, living in the forest, that you struck me as I came to fetch water for my elders? With one arrow in my vital spot, two blind old people are killed, my mother and my father. Surely they, weak and blind, waiting for me, thirsty, will bear their painful thirst long in hope. Surely there is no fruit of austerity or learning, since my father does not know I am lying fallen on the ground. And even if he knew, what could he do, powerless, unable to move, like one tree unable to save another being cut down? Go quickly yourself to my father, Raghava, and tell him, so that he does not burn you in anger as a kindled fire burns a forest. This path, king, leads to my father’s hermitage. Go and win his favour, so that he does not curse you in anger. Draw out the arrow, king; the sharp shaft wounds my vital part, as a rush of water wears away a soft, high bank.’ I was troubled: with the arrow in, he suffers; with the arrow out, he will die. The sage’s son saw that worry in the heart of me, wretched and grieving, and said, sinking, his limbs writhing, near his end: ‘I steady myself with courage and make my mind firm; let the fear of having killed a brahmana leave your heart. I am not twice-born, king; do not be troubled. I was born of a vaishya father and a shudra mother, lord of the land.’ As he spoke so with difficulty, struck in his vital part, writhing and trembling on the ground, I drew out the arrow. Seeing him lying there in the Sarayu, his body wet with water, lamenting with difficulty, breathing hard from the wound, I was utterly dejected, good lady.”
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प्रतिबुद्धो मुहुर्तेन शोकोपहतचेतनः । अथ राजा दशरथः स चिन्तामभ्यपद्यत ॥ १ ॥
Woken again by that, his mind struck by grief, King Dasharatha then fell into brooding.
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The Sin by the Sarayu 1 min read.
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रामलक्ष्मणयोश्चैव विवासाद्वासवोपमम् । आविवेशोपसर्गस्तं तमः सूर्यमिवासुरम् ॥ २ ॥
Because of the exile of Rama and Lakshmana, calamity entered him, who was like Vasava, as the demon’s darkness enters the sun.
सभार्ये निर्गते रामे कौसल्यां कोसलेश्वरः । विवक्षुरसितापाङ्गां स्मृत्वा दुष्कृतमात्मनः ॥ ३ ॥
When Rama had gone out with his wife, the lord of Kosala, wishing to speak to dark-eyed Kausalya, remembered a wrong he himself had done.
स राजा रजनीं षष्ठीं रामे प्रव्रजिते वनम् । अर्धरात्रे दशरथः संस्मरन्दुष्कृतं कृतम् ॥ ४ ॥
That king, on the sixth night since Rama went to the forest, at midnight, Dasharatha, recalling the wrong deed he had done,
स राजा पुत्रशोकार्तः स्मृत्वा दुष्कृतमात्मनः । कौसल्यां पुत्रशोकार्तामिदं वचनमब्रवीत् ॥ ५ ॥
the king, tormented by grief for his son, remembering his own wrong, said these words to Kausalya, tormented by grief for her son:
यदाचरति कल्याणि शुभं वा यदि वाशुभम् । तदेव लभते भद्रे कर्ता कर्मजमात्मनः ॥ ६ ॥
“Whatever a person does, lovely one, good or bad, that alone the doer gains, my dear, the fruit born of his own act.
गुरुलाघवमर्थानामारम्भे कर्मणां फलम् । दोषं वा यो न जानाति स बाल इति होच्यते ॥ ७ ॥
“He who, at the start of his acts, does not know the weight or lightness of their aims, their fruit or their fault, is called a child.
कश्चिदाम्रवणं छित्त्वा पलाशांश्च निषिञ्चति । पुष्पं दृष्ट्वा फले गृध्नुः स शोचति फलागमे ॥ ८ ॥
“Someone cuts down a mango grove and waters palasha trees; seeing their flowers, greedy for fruit, he grieves when the fruit comes.
अविज्ञाय फलं यो हि कर्मत्वेवानुधावति । स शोचेत्फलवेलायां यथा किंशुकसेचकः ॥ ९ ॥
“He who, not understanding the fruit, simply runs after the act will grieve at the time of fruit, like the waterer of kimshuka trees.
सोऽहमाम्रवणं छित्त्वा पलाशांश्च न्यषेचयम् । रामं फलागमे त्यक्त्वा पश्चाच्छोचामि दुर्मतिः ॥ १० ॥
“I am that one: I cut down the mango grove and watered the palashas; having given up Rama at the time of fruit, I grieve afterwards, fool that I am.
लब्धशब्देन कौसल्ये कुमारेण धनुष्मता । कुमारः शब्दवेधीति मया पापमिदं कृतम् ॥ ११ ॥
“When I had won a name, Kausalya, as a prince with a bow, a ‘prince who shoots by sound’, I did this evil deed.
तदिदं मेऽनुसम्प्राप्तं देवि दुःखं स्वयं कृतम् । सम्मोहादिह बालेन यथा स्याद्भक्षितं विषम् ॥ १२ ॥
“That pain I made myself has come back to me, queen, as poison eaten here in ignorance by a child.
यथान्यः पुरुषः कश्चित्पलाशैर्मोओहितो भवेत् । एवं ममाप्यविज्ञातं शब्दवेध्यमयं फलम् ॥ १३ ॥
“As some other man might be deluded by palasha flowers, so I did not know the fruit of shooting at sound.
देव्यनूढात्वमभवो युवराजो भवाम्यहम् । ततः प्रावृडनुप्राप्ता मदकामविवर्धिनी ॥ १४ ॥
“You were not yet married, queen, and I was crown prince. Then the rains came, which increase passion and desire.
उपास्यहि रसान् भौमांस्तप्त्वा च जगदंशुभिः । परेताचरितां भीमां रविराविशते दिशम् ॥ १५ ॥
“Having drunk up the earth’s juices and scorched the world with its rays, the sun was entering the dreadful quarter travelled by the dead.
उष्णमन्तर्दधे सद्यः स्निग्धा ददृशिरे घनाः । ततो जहृषिरे सर्वे भेकसारङ्गबर्हिणः ॥ १६ ॥
“The heat vanished at once; glossy clouds were seen; then all the frogs, saranga birds and peacocks rejoiced.
क्लिन्नपक्षोत्तराः स्नाताः कृच्छ्रादिव पतत्रिणः । वृष्टिवातावधूताग्रान्पादपानभिपेदिरे ॥ १७ ॥
“The birds, the upper sides of their wings wet as if they had bathed with difficulty, made for the trees whose tops were tossed by rain and wind.
पतितेनाम्भसा च्छन्नः पतमानेन चासकृत् । आबभौ मत्तसारङ्गस्तोयराशिरिवाचलः ॥ १८ ॥
“Covered by the water that had fallen and was falling again and again, the mountain, full of excited sarangas, shone like a mass of water.
पाण्डुरारुणवर्णानि स्रोतांसि विमलान्यपि । सुस्रुवुर्गिरिधातुभ्यः सभस्मानि भुजङ्गवत् ॥ १९ ॥
“Streams, pale and red in colour, though clear, flowed from the mountain minerals, mixed with ash, like snakes.
आकुलारुणतोयानि स्रोओताम्सि विमलान्यपि । उन्मार्गजलवाहीनि बभूवुर्जलदागमे ॥ २० ॥
“With the coming of the clouds, streams, clear before, became turbid and red, carrying water off their courses.
तस्मिन्नतिसुखे काले धनुष्मानिषुमान् रथी । व्यायामकृतसंकल्पः सरयूमन्वगां नदीम् ॥ २१ ॥
“In that very pleasant season, with bow and arrows, in my chariot, having resolved to exercise, I went along the river Sarayu,
निपाने महिषं रात्रौ गजं वाभ्यागतं नदीम् । अन्यं वा श्वापदं कंचिज्जिघांसुरजितेन्द्रियः ॥ २२ ॥
“eager, my senses unmastered, to kill a buffalo at the watering place at night, or an elephant come to the river, or some other beast of prey.
तस्मिम्स्तत्राहमेकान्ते रात्रौ विवृतकार्मुकः । तत्राहम् सम्वृतम् वन्यम् हतवाम्स्तीरमागतम् ॥ २३ ॥
“There, in that lonely place at night, with my bow strung, I would kill a wild creature, hidden, come to the bank,
अन्यम् चापि मृगम् हिम्स्रम् शब्दम् श्रुत्वाभु पागतम् । अथ अन्ध कारे तु अश्रौषम् जले कुम्भस्य पर्यतः ॥ २४ ॥
“or another fierce animal approaching at the sound. Then in the darkness I heard, in the water, the sound of a jar being filled,
अचक्षुर्विषये घोषं वारणस्येव नर्दतः । ततोऽहं शरमुद्धृत्य दीप्तमाशीविषोपमम् ॥ २५ ॥
“beyond my sight, like the noise of a trumpeting elephant. Then, drawing out a blazing arrow like a venomous snake,
शब्दं प्रति गजप्रेप्सुरभिलक्ष्य त्वपातयम् । अमुञ्चं निशितं बाणमहमाशीविषोपमम् ॥ २६ ॥
“wanting the elephant, I took aim at the sound and let it fall: I loosed a sharp arrow like a venomous snake.
तत्र वागुषसि व्यक्ता प्रादुरासीद्वनौकसः । हाहेति पततस्तोये बाणाभिहतमर्मणः ॥ २७ ॥
“There, at dawn, a clear voice rose from a forest-dweller, crying ‘Ha! Ha!’ as he fell into the water, his vital part struck by the arrow.
तस्मिन्निपतिते बाणे वागभूत्तत्र मानुषी । कथमस्मद्विधे शस्त्रं निपतेत्तु तपस्विनि ॥ २८ ॥
“When that arrow fell, a human voice came from there: ‘How could a weapon fall on an ascetic like me?
प्रविविक्तां नदीं रात्रावुदाहारोऽहमागतः । इषुणाभिहतः केन कस्य वा किं कृतं मया ॥ २९ ॥
“’I came to the lonely river at night to fetch water. By whom am I struck with an arrow? Or to whom have I done anything?
ऋषेर्हि न्यस्तदण्डस्य वने वन्येन जीवतः । कथं नु शस्त्रेण वधो मद्विधस्य विधीयते ॥ ३० ॥
“’How is death by a weapon dealt to someone like me, a sage who has laid down the rod, living in the forest on forest food?
जटाभारधरस्यैव वल्कलाजिनवाससः । को वधेन ममार्थी स्यात्किं वास्यापकृतं मया ॥ ३१ ॥
“’Who could want me killed, bearing only a load of matted hair, dressed in bark and deerskin? What harm have I done him?
एवं निष्फलमारब्धं केवलानर्थसंहितम् । न कश्चित्साधु मन्येत यथैव गुरुतल्पगम् ॥ ३२ ॥
“’No good man at all would approve this act, begun in vain, bringing only harm, any more than one who violates his teacher’s bed.
नहं तथानुशोचामि जीवितक्षयमात्मनः । मातरं पितरं चोभावनुशोचामि मद्विधे ॥ ३३ ॥
“’I do not grieve so much for the loss of my own life; I grieve for my mother and father, both, on my account.
तदेतन्मिथुनं वृद्धं चिरकालभृतं मया । मयि पञ्चत्वमापन्ने कां वृत्तिं वर्तयिष्यति ॥ ३४ ॥
“’This aged couple, supported by me for a long time: when I have gone to death, what way of life will they follow?
वृद्धौ च मातापितरावहं चैकेषुणा हतः । केन स्म निहताः सर्वे सुबालेनाकृतात्मना ॥ ३५ ॥
“’My aged mother and father and I are killed by one arrow. By what foolish, undisciplined person have we all been killed?’
तां गिरं करुणां श्रुत्वा मम धर्मानुकाङ्क्षिणः । कराभ्यां सशरं चापं व्यथितस्यापतद्भुवि ॥ ३६ ॥
“Hearing that piteous voice, I, who desired dharma, was shaken, and the bow with its arrow fell from my hands to the ground.
तस्याहं करुणं श्रुत्वा निशि लालपतो बहु । सम्भ्रानतः शोकवेगेन भृशमास विचेतनः ॥ ३७ ॥
“Hearing him lament so much and so piteously in the night, I was confused by the rush of grief and nearly lost my senses.
तं देशमहमागम्य दीनसत्त्वः सुदुर्मनाः । अपश्यमिषुणा तीरे सरय्वास्तापसं हतम् ॥ ३८ ॥
“Coming to that place, wretched in spirit and sick at heart, I saw on the bank of the Sarayu an ascetic killed by my arrow,
अवकीर्णजटाभारं प्रविद्धकलशोदकम् । पासुशोणितदिग्धाङ्गं शयानं शल्यपीडितम् ॥ ३९ ॥
“his load of matted hair scattered, the water of his jar thrown out, his limbs smeared with dust and blood, lying, tormented by the shaft.
स मामुद्वीक्ष्य नेत्राभ्यां त्रस्तमस्वस्थचेतसम् । इत्युवाच वचः क्रूरं दिधक्षन्निव तेजसा ॥ ४० ॥
“Looking up at me with his eyes, as I stood frightened and confused, he spoke these cruel words, as if he would burn me with his power:
किं तवापकृतं राजन्वने निवसता मया । जिहीर्षिउरम्भो गुर्वर्थं यदहं ताडितस्त्वया ॥ ४१ ॥
“’What harm did I do you, king, living in the forest, that I was struck by you as I wished to fetch water for my elders?
एकेन खलु बाणेन मर्मण्यभिहते मयि । द्वावन्धौ निहतौ वृद्धौ माता जनयिता च मे ॥ ४२ ॥
“’With me struck in a vital part by a single arrow, two blind old people are killed: my mother and my father.
तौ नूनं दुर्बलावन्धौ मत्प्रतीक्षौ पिपासितौ । चिरमाशा कृतां तृष्णां कष्टां संधारयिष्यतः ॥ ४३ ॥
“’Surely those two, weak and blind, waiting for me, thirsty, will long bear their painful thirst, born of hope.
न नूनं तपसो वास्ति फलयोगः श्रुतस्य वा । पिता यन्मां न जानाति शयानं पतितं भुवि ॥ ४४ ॥
“’Surely there is no fruit in austerity or learning, since my father does not know that I am lying fallen on the ground.
जानन्नपि च किं कुर्यादशक्तिरपरिक्रमः । भिद्यमानमिवाशक्तस्त्रातुमन्यो नगो नगम् ॥ ४५ ॥
“’And even if he knew, what could he do, powerless, unable to move? As one tree is powerless to save another tree being cut.
पितुस्त्वमेव मे गत्वा शीघ्रमाचक्ष्व राघव । न त्वामनुदहेत्क्रुद्धो वनं वह्निरिवैधितः ॥ ४६ ॥
“’Go quickly yourself and tell my father, Raghava, so that he does not burn you in anger, as a kindled fire burns a forest.
इयमेकपदी राजन्यतो मे पितुराश्रमः । तं प्रसादय गत्वा त्वं न त्वां स कुपितः शपेत् ॥ ४७ ॥
“’This footpath, king, is the way to my father’s hermitage. Go and win his favour, so that he does not curse you in anger.
विशल्यं कुरु मां राजन् मर्म मे निशितः शरः । रुणद्धि मृदु सोत्सेधं तीरमम्बुरयो यथा ॥ ४८ ॥
“’Draw out the arrow from me, king. The sharp shaft hurts my vital part, as the rush of water erodes a soft, high bank.’
सशल्यः क्लिश्यते प्राणैर्विशल्यो विनशिष्यति । इति मामविशच्चिन्ता तस्य शल्यापकर्षणे ॥ ४९ ॥
“’With the arrow in, he is tormented in his life-breaths; with the arrow out, he will die.’ So worry entered me about drawing out his arrow.
दुःखितस्य च दीनस्य मम शोकातुरस्य च । लक्ष्यामास हृदये चिन्तां मुनिसुतस्तदा ॥ ५० ॥
“And the sage’s son then saw the worry in my heart, as I was distressed, wretched and stricken with grief.
ताम्यमानः स मां कृच्छ्रादुवाच परमार्तवत् । सीदमानो विवृत्ताङ्गो वेष्टमानो गतः क्षयम् ॥ ५१ ॥
“Gasping, he said to me in pain, deeply afflicted, sinking, his limbs twisting, writhing, going to his end:
संस्तभ्य शोकं धैर्येण स्थिरचित्तो भवाम्यहम् । ब्रह्महत्याकृतं पापं हृदयादपनीयताम् ॥ ५२ ॥
“’Steadying my grief with courage, I am making my mind firm. Let the sin of brahmana-killing be removed from your heart.
न द्विजातिरहं राजन्माभूत्ते मनसो व्यथा । शूद्रायामस्मि वैश्येन जातो जनपदाधिप ॥ ५३ ॥
“’I am not twice-born, king; let there be no pain in your mind. I was born of a vaishya father and a shudra mother, lord of the people.’
इतीव वदतः कृच्छ्राद्बाणाभिहतमर्मणः । विघूर्णतो विचेष्टस्य वेपमानस्य भूतले ॥ ५४ ॥
As he spoke so, with difficulty, struck by the arrow in a vital part, reeling, writhing, trembling on the ground,
तस्य त्वानम्यमानस्य तं बाणमहमुद्धरम् । स मामुद्वीक्ष्य संत्रस्तो जहौ प्राणांस्तपोधनः ॥ ५५ ॥
“as he bent over, I drew out that arrow from him; and looking up at me, terrified, the ascetic gave up his life.
जलार्द्रगात्रं तु विलप्य कृच्चान्मर्म व्रणं संततमुच्चसन्तम् । ततः सरय्वां तमहं शयानं समीक्ष्य भद्रे सुभृशं विषण्णः ॥ ५६ ॥
“Seeing him lying there in the Sarayu, his body wet with water, having lamented with difficulty, breathing hard from the wound in his vital part, I was utterly dejected, good lady.”