Ayodhya Kanda · Sarga 62 of 119 · 21 verses
The King Begs Forgiveness
Spoken to so harshly by Rama’s angry, grieving mother, the king falls to brooding, faints with his senses confused, and after a long time comes to. Sighing long and hot, seeing Kausalya beside him, he begins to think, and a wrong he did long ago in ignorance, as one who shoots by sound, comes back to him. Burning with that grief and with grief for Rama, both together, trembling, he joins his palms, bows his face and says: “I beg your forgiveness, Kausalya; I have joined my palms to you. You are always loving and kind, even to strangers. For women who consider dharma, a husband, virtuous or not, is a visible god. You, always devoted to dharma, who have seen the high and low of the world, should not speak unkindly to one so deeply afflicted, even in your own grief.”
Hearing these pitiful words of the wretched king, Kausalya sheds tears like a drain pouring new rainwater. Weeping, she takes the king’s joined hands like a lotus to her head and, frightened, says in hurried words: “Be gracious; I beg you with my head; I have fallen at your feet on the ground. If I am begged by you, lord, I am destroyed; I should not be begged by you. She is no woman worth praising in either world, hero, who has to be begged by her wise husband. I know dharma, knower of dharma, and I know you speak the truth. What I said, I said tormented by grief for my son. Grief destroys courage, grief destroys learning, grief destroys everything; there is no enemy like grief. A blow from an enemy’s hand can be borne; but grief, however slight, cannot be borne once it falls. Even knowers of dharma, learned men whose doubts about dharma and wealth are cut, even ascetics, are bewildered when their minds are clouded by grief. This is the fifth night counted since Rama went to the forest; for me, my joy killed by grief, it is like five years. Thinking of him, this grief grows in my heart, as the great water of the ocean grows with the force of the rivers.” As Kausalya speaks these gentle words, the sun’s rays grow dim and night comes on. Gladdened by Queen Kausalya’s words, and overcome by grief, the king falls asleep.
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एवं तु क्रुद्धया राजा राममात्रा सशोकया । श्रावितः परुषं वाक्यं चिन्तयामास दुःखितः ॥ १ ॥
Having been made to hear such harsh words by Rama’s mother, angry and grieving, the king, distressed, fell to thinking.
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चिन्तयित्वा स च नृपो मुमोह व्याकुलेन्द्रियः । अथ दीर्घेण कालेन संज्ञामाप परंतपः ॥ २ ॥
Having thought, the king fainted, his senses confused; then after a long time the scorcher of enemies regained consciousness.
स संज्ञामुपलभ्यैव दीर्घमुष्णं च निःश्वसन् । कौसल्यां पार्श्वतो दृष्ट्वा ततश्चिन्तामुपागमत् ॥ ३ ॥
As soon as he regained consciousness, sighing long and hot, and seeing Kausalya at his side, he fell into thought.
तस्य चिन्तयमानस्य प्रत्यभात्कर्म दुष्कृतम् । यदनेन कृतं पूर्वमज्ञानाच्छब्दवेधिना ॥ ४ ॥
As he thought, a wrong deed came back to him, which he had done long ago in ignorance as one who shoots at a sound.
अमनास्तेन शोकेन रामशोकेन च प्रभुः । द्वाभ्यामपि महाराजः शोकाभ्यामभितप्यत ॥ ५ ॥
Downcast by that grief and by grief for Rama, the lord, the great king, was burned by both griefs.
दह्यमानस्तु शोकाभ्यां कौसल्यामाह भूपतिः । वेपमानोऽञ्जलिं कृत्वा प्रसादार्थमवाङ्मुखः ॥ ६ ॥
Burning with the two griefs, the lord of the earth, trembling, joining his palms, his face bowed to win her favour, said to Kausalya:
प्रसादये त्वां कौसल्ये रचितोऽयं मयाञ्जलिः । वत्सला चानृशंसा च त्वं हि नित्यं परेष्वपि ॥ ७ ॥
“I beg your favour, Kausalya; I have joined my palms to you. You are always loving and kind, even to others.
भर्ता तु खलु नारीणां गुणवान् निर्गुणोऽपि वा । धर्मं विमृशमानानां प्रत्यक्षं देवि दैवतम् ॥ ८ ॥
“For women who consider dharma, queen, a husband, whether virtuous or without virtue, is a visible deity.
सा त्वं धर्मपरा नित्यं दृष्टलोकपरावरा । नार्हसे विप्रियं वक्तुं दुःखितापि सुदुःखितम् ॥ ९ ॥
“You, always devoted to dharma, who have seen the high and low of the world, should not, though grieving, say unkind things to one who is deeply grieved.”
तद्वाक्यं करुणं राज्ञः श्रुत्वा दीनस्य भाषितम् । कौसल्या व्यसृजद् बाष्पं प्रणालीव नवोदकम् ॥ १० ॥
Hearing those pitiful words spoken by the wretched king, Kausalya shed tears, like a drain pouring new water.
सा मूर्ध्नि बद्ध्वा रुदती राज्ञः पद्ममिवाञ्जलिम् । सम्भ्रमादब्रवीत्त्रस्ता त्वरमाणाक्षरं वचः ॥ ११ ॥
Weeping, she placed the king’s joined palms on her head like a lotus and, frightened, said in haste, with hurried syllables:
प्रसीद शिरसा याचे भूमौ निपतितास्मि ते । याचितास्मि हता देव हन्तव्याहं न हि त्वया ॥ १२ ॥
“Be gracious; I beg you with my head; I have fallen to the ground before you. If I am begged by you, lord, I am destroyed; I should not be begged by you.
नैषा हि सा स्त्री भवति श्लाघनीयेन धीमता । उभयोर्लोकयोर्वीर पत्या या सम्प्रसाद्यते ॥ १३ ॥
“She is no woman to be praised in both worlds, hero, who has to be propitiated by her wise husband.
जानामि धर्मं धर्मज्ञ त्वां जाने सत्यवादिनम् । पुत्रशोकार्तया तत्तु मया किमपि भाषितम् ॥ १४ ॥
“I know dharma, knower of dharma; I know you speak the truth. What I said was said by me, afflicted with grief for my son.
शोको नाशयते धैर्यं शोको नाशयते श्रुतम् । शोको नाशयते सर्वं नास्ति शोकसमो रिपुः ॥ १५ ॥
“Grief destroys courage; grief destroys learning; grief destroys everything; there is no enemy equal to grief.
शक्यमापतितः सोढुं प्रहारो रिपुहस्ततः । सोढुमापतितः शोकः सुसूक्ष्मोऽपि न शक्यते ॥ १६ ॥
“A blow that falls from an enemy’s hand can be borne; but grief, once it falls, even the slightest, cannot be borne.
धर्मज्ञाः श्रुतिमन्तोऽपि छिन्नधर्मार्थसंशयाः । यतयो वीर मुह्यन्ति शोकसम्मूढचेतसः ॥ १७ ॥
“Even those who know dharma and are learned, who have cut through their doubts about dharma and wealth, even ascetics, hero, are bewildered when their minds are clouded by grief.
वनवासाय रामस्य पञ्चरात्रोऽद्य गण्यते । यः शोकहतहर्षायाः पञ्चवर्षोपमो मम ॥ १८ ॥
“This is the fifth night counted since Rama’s going to the forest; for me, whose joy is killed by grief, it is like five years.
तं हि चिन्तयमानायाः शोकोऽयं हृदि वर्धते । नदीनामिव वेगेन समुद्रसलिलं महत् ॥ १९ ॥
“As I think of him, this grief grows in my heart, as the great water of the ocean grows with the rush of the rivers.”
एवं हि कथयन्त्यास्तु कौसल्यायाः शुभं वचः । मन्दरश्मिरभूत्सूर्यो रजनी चाभ्यवर्तत ॥ २० ॥
As Kausalya spoke these auspicious words, the sun’s rays grew dim and night came on.
तथ प्रह्लादितो वाक्यैर्देव्या कौसल्यया नृपः । शोकेन च समाक्रान्तो निद्राया वशमेयिवान् ॥ २१ ॥
Gladdened so by the words of Queen Kausalya, and overcome by grief, the king came under the power of sleep.