Sundara Kanda · Sarga 28 of 68 · 19 verses
At the Edge of Despair
Remembering Ravana’s threat, Sita trembles like a young elephant caught by a lion and weeps like a girl abandoned in a desert. Her heart, she says, must be hard as rock not to burst like a mountain peak struck by lightning. She has no fault, yet she must die at the hands of this hateful man; she can no more give him her heart than a brahmana can give a sacred mantra to one not twice-born. When the two months are over, Ravana will cut her limbs with sharp knives, like a surgeon removing a dead child from the womb.
She cries out to Rama, Lakshmana, Sumitra and Kausalya. Perhaps the princes have been killed for her sake; surely the golden deer was Death in disguise, and she, foolish, sent both brothers away. Her devotion, her patience, her sleeping on the ground, her fidelity have all been wasted, like a kindness done to the ungrateful. Rama, she imagines, will finish his exile and live happily with other wives, while she dies. She would take poison or a blade, but no one in the rakshasa’s house will give her one. Resolving to hang herself with her own braid, she takes hold of a branch of the tree. At that moment, auspicious omens, long known to be true, appear to her.
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सा राक्षसेन्द्रस्य वचो निशम्य तद् रावणस्याप्रियमप्रियार्ता । सीता वितत्रास यथा वनान्ते सिंहाभिपन्ना गजराजकन्या ॥ १ ॥
Hearing those unwelcome words of Ravana, king of the rakshasas, Sita, stricken by unwelcome things, trembled like a young she-elephant at the forest’s edge seized by a lion.
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सा राक्षसीमध्यगता च भीरु- र्वाग्भिर्भृशं रावणतर्जिता च । कान्तारमध्ये विजने विसृष्टा बालेव कन्या विललाप सीता ॥ २ ॥
In the middle of the rakshasis, timid, harshly threatened by Ravana with words, Sita lamented like a little girl left alone in a lonely wilderness.
सत्यं बतेदं प्रवदन्ति लोके नाकालमृत्युर्भवतीति सन्तः । यत्राहमेवं परिभर्त्स्यमाना जीवामि यस्मात् क्षणमप्यपुण्या ॥ ३ ॥
“Alas, the good say truly in the world that death does not come before its time, since I, threatened like this, live even a moment, without merit as I am.
सुखाद् विहीनं बहुदुःखपूर्ण- मिदं तु नूनं हृदयं स्थिरं मे । विदीर्यते यन्न सहस्रधाद्य वज्राहतं शृंगमिवाचलस्य ॥ ४ ॥
“Empty of happiness and full of many sorrows, surely this heart of mine is firm, since it does not break into a thousand pieces today, like a mountain peak struck by a thunderbolt.
नैवास्ति नूनं मम दोषमत्र वध्याहमस्याप्रियदर्शनस्य । भावं न चास्याहमनुप्रदातु- मलं द्विजो मन्त्रमिवाद्विजाय ॥ ५ ॥
“Surely I have no fault here; I am to be killed by this hateful man. I cannot give him my heart, as a twice-born cannot give a mantra to one not twice-born.
तस्मिन्ननागच्छति लोकनाथे गर्भस्थजन्तोरिव शल्यकृन्तः । नूनं ममांगान्यचिरादनार्यः शस्त्रैः शितैश्छेत्स्यति राक्षसेन्द्रः ॥ ६ ॥
“If that lord of the world does not come, surely before long the ignoble king of the rakshasas will cut up my limbs with sharp knives, like a surgeon cutting out a child lodged in the womb.
दुःखं बतेदं ननु दुःखिताया मासौ चिरायाभिगमिष्यतो द्वौ । बद्धस्य वध्यस्य यथा निशान्ते राजोपरोधादिव तस्करस्य ॥ ७ ॥
“Alas, this is sorrow for one already in sorrow: the two months will soon have gone, as for a thief bound and condemned at the end of the night by the king’s order.
हा राम हा लक्ष्मण हा सुमित्रे हा राममातः सह मे जनन्यः । एषा विपद्याम्यहमल्पभाग्या महार्णवे नौरिव मूढवाता ॥ ८ ॥
“Ha Rama! Ha Lakshmana! Ha Sumitra! Ha Rama’s mother, with my own mothers! Here I perish, of little fortune, like a boat in the great ocean struck by a wild wind.
तरस्विनौ धारयता मृगस्य सत्त्वेन रूपं मनुजेन्द्रपुत्रौ । नूनं विशस्तौ मम कारणात् तौ सिंहर्षभौ द्वाविव वैद्युतेन ॥ ९ ॥
“Surely those two swift sons of the lord of men have been killed because of me by that creature who took the form of a deer, like two lions, two bulls, struck by lightning.
नूनं स कालो मृगरूपधारी मामल्पभाग्यां लुलुभे तदानीम् । यत्रार्यपुत्रौ विससर्ज मूढा रामानुजं लक्ष्मणपूर्वजं च ॥ १० ॥
“Surely that was Death in the form of a deer that lured unlucky me then, when, foolish, I sent away the two sons of the noble one, Rama’s younger brother and Lakshmana’s elder.
हा राम सत्यव्रत दीर्घबाहो हा पूर्णचन्द्रप्रतिमानवक्त्र । हा जीवलोकस्य हितः प्रियश्च वध्यां न मां वेत्सि हि राक्षसानाम् ॥ ११ ॥
“Ha Rama, true to your vow, long-armed! Ha, with your face like the full moon! Ha, good and dear to the world of the living! You do not know that I am to be killed by the rakshasas.
अनन्यदेवत्वमियं क्षमा च भूमौ च शय्या नियमश्च धर्मे । पतिव्रतात्वं विफलं ममेदं कृतं कृतघ्नेष्विव मानुषाणाम् ॥ १२ ॥
“Having no other god, this patience, sleeping on the ground, discipline in dharma, my vow of fidelity: all this of mine is fruitless, like a kindness done to ungrateful men.
मोघो हि धर्मश्चरितो ममायं तथैकपत्नीत्वमिदं निरर्थकम् । या त्वां न पश्यामि कृशा विवर्णा हीना त्वया संगमने निराशा ॥ १३ ॥
“Vain is the dharma I have practised, and this being a one-husband wife is meaningless, since I, thin and pale, do not see you, deprived of you, without hope of union.
पितुर्निदेशं नियमेन कृत्वा वनान्निवृत्तश्चरितव्रतश्च । स्त्रीभिस्तु मन्ये विपुलेक्षणाभिः संरंस्यसे वीतभयः कृतार्थः ॥ १४ ॥
“Having carried out your father’s command faithfully, returned from the forest with your vow fulfilled, I think you will take your pleasure, free from fear, your purpose achieved, with wide-eyed women.
अहं तु राम त्वयि जातकामा चिरं विनाशाय निबद्धभावा । मोघं चरित्वाथ तपो व्रतं च त्यक्ष्यामि धिग्जीवितमल्पभाग्याम् ॥ १५ ॥
“But I, Rama, who loved you, my heart long bound to you to my own ruin, having practised austerity and vows in vain, will give up my life. Shame on my unlucky life!
संजीवितं क्षिप्रमहं त्यजेयं विषेण शस्त्रेण शितेन वापि । विषस्य दाता न तु मेऽस्ति कश्चि- च्छस्त्रस्य वा वेश्मनि राक्षसस्य ॥ १६ ॥
“I would quickly give up my life by poison or a sharp blade; but there is no one in the rakshasa’s house to give me poison or a blade.”
शोकाभितप्ता बहुधा विचिन्त्य सीताथ वेणीग्रथनं गृहीत्वा । उद्बद्ध्य वेण्युद्ग्रथनेन शीघ्र- महं गमिष्यामि यमस्य मूलम् ॥ १७ ॥
Pondering in many ways, burning with grief, Sita then took hold of the binding of her braid: “Hanging myself quickly by the cord of my braid, I will go to the root of Yama.”
उपस्थिता सा मृदुसर्वगात्री शाखां गृहीत्वा च नगस्य तस्य । तस्यास्तु रामं परिचिन्तयन्त्या रामानुजं स्वं च कुलं शुभांग्याः ॥ १८ ॥
Soft in every limb, she came up to the tree and took hold of a branch of it. And as the lovely-limbed one thought of Rama, of Rama’s younger brother and of her own family,
तस्या विशोकानि तदा बहूनि धैर्यार्जितानि प्रवराणि लोके । प्रादुर्निमित्तानि तदा बभूवुः पुरापि सिद्धान्युपलक्षितानि ॥ १९ ॥
then many omens appeared to her, which dispel sorrow, which bring courage, the best in the world, seen and proven true before.