Sundara Kanda · Sarga 55 of 68 · 35 verses
Hanuman’s Remorse
Looking at the burning, terrified city, Hanuman is suddenly seized with dread and self-disgust: what have I done? In burning Lanka, have I burned Sita too? Blessed are the great souls who check rising anger with wisdom, as one puts out fire with water. An angry man will do any evil, kill even his elders, abuse the good; he cannot tell what may and may not be said. He who sheds anger by patience, as a snake sheds its old skin, is truly a man. Shame on me, fool and sinner, who started this fire without thinking of Sita and so destroyed my master’s cause. The whole city is ash; she must be dead. If so, I will die here, in the fire, in the submarine fire, or as food for the sea creatures. How could I face Sugriva or the two princes? I have shown the fickle monkey nature famous in the three worlds. With Sita dead, Rama and Lakshmana will die, then Sugriva, Bharata and Shatrughna; the whole Ikshvaku line will perish and its people will grieve, all through my anger.
Then he remembers the good omens he has seen, and reasons: Sita is protected by her own splendour; fire does not burn fire. Agni cannot touch the wife of righteous Rama, guarded by her own virtue. The fire did not even burn my tail, by Rama’s power and Sita’s goodness; how could it burn her? By her austerity, truth and single devotion she could burn fire itself. As he thinks so, he hears the charanas, celestial bards, saying: what a deed Hanuman has done! Lanka is burned with its towers, ramparts and gates, and yet Janaki is not burned: a marvel. Hearing these words like nectar, he rejoices, and, wanting to see her with his own eyes once more, resolves to return.
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संदीप्यमानां वित्रस्तां त्रस्तरक्षोगणां पुरीम् । अवेक्ष्य हनुमाँल्लङ्कां चिन्तयामास वानरः ॥ १ ॥
Looking at the city of Lanka blazing, terrified, its hosts of rakshasas in fear, the monkey Hanuman fell to thinking.
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तस्याभूत् सुमहांस्त्रासः कुत्सा चात्मन्यजायत । लङ्कां प्रदहता कर्म किंस्वित् कृतमिदं मया ॥ २ ॥
A very great dread came over him, and disgust with himself arose: “What is this deed I have done in burning Lanka?
धन्याः खलु महात्मानो ये बुद्ध्या कोपमुत्थितम् । निरुन्धन्ति महात्मानो दीप्तमग्निमिवाम्भसा ॥ ३ ॥
“Blessed indeed are the great souls who, by understanding, check anger when it rises, as one checks a blazing fire with water.
क्रुद्धः पापं न कुर्यात् कः क्रुद्धो हन्याद् गुरूनपि । क्रुद्धः परुषया वाचा नरः साधूनधिक्षिपेत् ॥ ४ ॥
“Who, when angry, would not do evil? An angry man might kill even his elders; an angry man might insult the good with harsh words.
वाच्यावाच्यं प्रकुपितो न विजानाति कर्हिचित् । नाकार्यमस्ति क्रुद्धस्य नावाच्यं विद्यते क्वचित् ॥ ५ ॥
“One who is enraged never knows what should and should not be said. There is nothing an angry man will not do, nothing he will not say.
यः समुत्पतितं क्रोधं क्षमयैव निरस्यति । यथोरगस्त्वचं जीर्णां स वै पुरुष उच्यते ॥ ६ ॥
“He who casts off anger as it rises, by patience alone, as a snake casts off its worn skin, is called a man.
धिगस्तु मां सुदुर्बुद्धिं निर्लज्जं पापकृत्तमम् । अचिन्तयित्वा तां सीतामग्निदं स्वामिघातकम् ॥ ७ ॥
“Shame on me, utterly foolish, shameless, the worst of sinners, who, not thinking of Sita, set the fire and killed my master!
यदि दग्धा त्वियं सर्वा नूनमार्यापि जानकी । दग्धा तेन मया भर्तुर्हतं कार्यमजानता ॥ ८ ॥
“If this whole city is burned, surely the noble Janaki is burned too, and so I, in my ignorance, have destroyed my master’s cause.
यदर्थमयमारम्भस्तत्कार्यमवसादितम् । मया हि दहता लङ्कां न सीता परिरक्षिता ॥ ९ ॥
“The task for which this whole undertaking was made is ruined; in burning Lanka I did not protect Sita.
ईषत्कार्यमिदं कार्यं कृतमासीन्न संशयः । तस्य क्रोधाभिभूतेन मया मूलक्षयः कृतः ॥ १० ॥
“This was a small matter, and it had been done, no doubt of it; but overcome by anger I have destroyed its root.
विनष्टा जानकी व्यक्तं न ह्यदग्धः प्रदृश्यते । लङ्कायाः कश्चिदुद्देशः सर्वा भस्मीकृता पुरी ॥ ११ ॥
“Janaki has clearly perished, for no part of Lanka is seen unburned; the whole city has been turned to ash.
यदि तद्विहतं कार्यं मया प्रज्ञाविपर्ययात् । इहैव प्राणसंन्यासो ममापि ह्यद्य रोचते ॥ १२ ॥
“If the task has been ruined by me through a failure of wisdom, I would rather give up my life right here today.
किमग्नौ निपताम्यद्य आहोस्विद् वडवामुखे । शरीरमिह सत्त्वानां दद्मि सागरवासिनाम् ॥ १३ ॥
“Shall I throw myself into the fire now, or into the submarine fire? Or give my body here to the creatures that live in the ocean?
कथं नु जीवता शक्यो मया द्रष्टुं हरीश्वरः । तौ वा पुरुषशार्दूलौ कार्यसर्वस्वघातिना ॥ १४ ॥
“How could I, while alive, see the lord of monkeys, or those two tigers among men, having destroyed the whole of the task?
मया खलु तदेवेदं रोषदोषात् प्रदर्शितम् । प्रथितं त्रिषु लोकेषु कपित्वमनवस्थितम् ॥ १५ ॥
“Through the fault of anger I have shown this very thing: the fickleness of monkeys famous in the three worlds.
धिगस्तु राजसं भावमनीशमनवस्थितम् । ईश्वरेणापि यद् रागान्मया सीता न रक्षिता ॥ १६ ॥
“Shame on the passionate nature, uncontrolled and unsteady, since, though I was able, I did not protect Sita because of passion.
विनष्टायां तु सीतायां तावुभौ विनशिष्यतः । तयोर्विनाशे सुग्रीवः सबन्धुर्विनशिष्यति ॥ १७ ॥
“If Sita is lost, those two will perish; when they perish, Sugriva will perish with his kin.
एतदेव वचः श्रुत्वा भरतो भ्रातृवत्सलः । धर्मात्मा सहशत्रुघ्नः कथं शक्ष्यति जीवितुम् ॥ १८ ॥
“Hearing this very news, how will Bharata, who loves his brother, the righteous one, with Shatrughna, be able to live?
इक्ष्वाकुवंशे धर्मिष्ठे गते नाशमसंशयम् । भविष्यन्ति प्रजाः सर्वाः शोकसंतापपीडिताः ॥ १९ ॥
“When the righteous Ikshvaku line has perished, without doubt all the people will be afflicted with grief and pain.
तदहं भाग्यरहितो लुप्तधर्मार्थसंग्रहः । रोषदोषपरीतात्मा व्यक्तं लोकविनाशनः ॥ २० ॥
“So I, without fortune, the store of my dharma and profit lost, my mind overcome by the fault of anger, am clearly the destroyer of the world.”
इति चिन्तयतस्तस्य निमित्तान्युपपेदिरे । पूर्वमप्युपलब्धानि साक्षात् पुनरचिन्तयत् ॥ २१ ॥
As he thought this, omens came to him, ones he had already experienced before; and he thought again, clearly:
अथ वा चारुसर्वाङ्गी रक्षिता स्वेन तेजसा । न नशिष्यति कल्याणी नाग्निरग्नौ प्रवर्तते ॥ २२ ॥
“Or perhaps the lovely-limbed one has been protected by her own splendour. The fortunate one will not perish; fire does not act on fire.
नहि धर्मात्मनस्तस्य भार्याममिततेजसः । स्वचरित्राभिगुप्तां तां स्प्रष्टुमर्हति पावकः ॥ २३ ॥
“Fire cannot touch the wife of that righteous one of boundless splendour, guarded as she is by her own conduct.
नूनं रामप्रभावेण वैदेह्याः सुकृतेन च । यन्मां दहनकर्मायं नादहद्धव्यवाहनः ॥ २४ ॥
“Surely it was by Rama’s power and Vaidehi’s merit that this fire, whose work is burning, did not burn me.
त्रयाणां भरतादीनां भ्रातॄणां देवता च या । रामस्य च मनःकान्ता सा कथं विनशिष्यति ॥ २५ ॥
“How could she perish, who is a deity to the three brothers, Bharata and the others, and the beloved of Rama’s heart?
यद् वा दहनकर्मायं सर्वत्र प्रभुरव्ययः । न मे दहति लाङ्गूलं कथमार्यां प्रधक्ष्यति ॥ २६ ॥
“Or, if this fire, whose work is burning, imperishable lord everywhere, does not burn my tail, how will it burn the noble lady?”
पुनश्चाचिन्तयत् तत्र हनूमान् विस्मितस्तदा । हिरण्यनाभस्य गिरेर्जलमध्ये प्रदर्शनम् ॥ २७ ॥
And again Hanuman, amazed, thought then of the appearance of the golden-navelled mountain in the middle of the water.
तपसा सत्यवाक्येन अनन्यत्वाच्च भर्तरि । असौ विनिर्दहेदग्निं न तामग्निः प्रधक्ष्यति ॥ २८ ॥
“By her austerity, her truthfulness, her devotion to her husband alone, she might burn the fire; fire will not burn her.”
स तथा चिन्तयंस्तत्र देव्या धर्मपरिग्रहम् । शुश्राव हनुमांस्तत्र चारणानां महात्मनाम् ॥ २९ ॥
As he thought so of the goddess’s hold on dharma, Hanuman heard there the words of the great-souled charanas:
अहो खलु कृतं कर्म दुर्विगाहं हनूमता । अग्निं विसृजता तीक्ष्णं भीमं राक्षससद्मनि ॥ ३० ॥
“Ah, a deed hard to fathom has been done by Hanuman, releasing a sharp, terrible fire in the dwelling of the rakshasas!
प्रपलायितरक्षःस्त्रीबालवृद्धसमाकुला । जनकोलाहलाध्माता क्रन्दन्तीवाद्रिकन्दरैः ॥ ३१ ॥
“Crowded with fleeing rakshasa women, children and old people, swollen with people’s clamour, it seems to wail through its mountain caves:
दग्धेयं नगरी लङ्का साट्टप्राकारतोरणा । जानकी न च दग्धेति विस्मयोऽद्भुत एव नः ॥ ३२ ॥
“this city of Lanka is burned, with its towers, ramparts and gates; and Janaki is not burned: that is the marvel that amazes us.”
इति शुश्राव हनुमान् वाचं ताममृतोपमाम् । बभूव चास्य मनसो हर्षस्तत्कालसम्भवः ॥ ३३ ॥
So Hanuman heard those words like nectar, and joy arose in his heart at that moment.
स निमित्तैश्च दृष्टार्थैः कारणैश्च महागुणैः । ऋषिवाक्यैश्च हनुमानभवत् प्रीतमानसः ॥ ३४ ॥
By the omens whose meaning he had seen, by reasons of great weight, and by the words of the sages, Hanuman became glad at heart.
ततः कपिः प्राप्तमनोरथार्थ- स्तामक्षतां राजसुतां विदित्वा । प्रत्यक्षतस्तां पुनरेव दृष्ट्वा प्रतिप्रयाणाय मतिं चकार ॥ ३५ ॥
Then the monkey, his wish fulfilled, knowing the princess unharmed, resolved to go back after seeing her once more with his own eyes.